Whatever

I feel like lately I've been spit it the face so much my vision has clouded. What do I have to do? Should I sever my arms and legs? Chop off my head? My fingers? My toes? What will it take to show the people I love that I need them? Or am I misinterpreting this?

Is it instead that I'm not wanted? Does my desire to be there actually burden people? Would it be better if I went away? I'd really like to know.

Why is it so impossible to think that when you say things like that, you wound me so terribly, I can barely breathe from the pain? You aren't alone, but you insist on acting like it and I can't stand it.

I wish I could just give up, but I can't. So I don't even know why I wrote this. Things will go on as they have and I'll be hurting like I have. No one but me will read this anyway. I guess I really am a moron.