I Can't

I've been trying really hard, but I can't. You aren't allowed to do that. You can't be so amazing. It's not fair to be the first person I think of when I wake up. It's not fair to have so much control over my heart. I'm constantly afraid of annoying you and getting pushed away, but you're the one I want most. I want to make you happy the way you make me happy, but I feel like all I do is act like a complete idiot. I can't handle it. It hurts too much. It shouldn't hurt like this. Ever since I finally admitted to myself that I like you, it feels like I've only been struggling with more pain and the only one who can take it away is you, but I can never tell you. I may scream it in my heart, I may desperately put my feelings out hoping that they reach you, but I'm not even sure I want you to know. All I do is cry over you and I hate it. I hate this feeling. I just want it to go away. I can't take it.